Beer goggles

Sometimes I wish that I had beer goggles on every time I look at myself. I've been trying really hard to eat right, and I've been going to the gym, and it just seems like I'm just getting fatter. It's so frustrating because I'm so freaking huge, and it just seems like everything I try to do to make myself more attractive aka thinner, isn't working... I'm just getting fatter! and to top it all of my husband wont have sex with me, so I'm not getting pregnant either. I'm so freaking sick and tired of this all! I just wish that I can be the size 3 I was in high school, what the fuck happened to me! I used to be skinny and cute and smart. Now I'm just fat, ugly, and stupid. I just wish I could go back to that size 3 girl I used to be real fast, I'm so sick of being disgustingly fat. I'd do just about anything to get back to being skinny right about now... I hate myself....